One Step Closer
by CoriWhoWritesStuff
Summary: Tired of waiting, Lupin finally decides to make his move. Slash, SSRL. Complete!
1. One Step Closer

Notes: This is pretty silly, I'll admit. But I like silly, so I won't apologize. Please enjoy, because I always find these two most enjoyable together. 

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**One Step Closer**

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Remus Lupin strode down the cold dungeon corridor leading to Severus Snape's office, determination etched into every line of his face. That same determination flowed from every pore, radiated from his shabby robes, seeming to turn him into a pillar of determination, an unstoppable force bent on getting exactly what he wanted.

At least, that was really how he was _hoping_ to appear to anyone who might see him.

In reality, his palms were sweating, his thoughts were muddled, and his insides seemed to have turned to mush. A warm, uncomfortable mush that squirmed and writhed disagreeably in his stomach. After all, it wasn't every day that he was bound for Snape's office, with the intent of revealing his feelings for the man at long last.

_"Excuse me, Severus, but ah... I... well, I fancy you. And when I say I fancy you, I mean... _really_. Ever since we were in school together, you know. I think it was your studious, serious nature, your sense of... of _responsibility

No. No, that was horrible. Tantamount to saying: "Hi, I'm Remus Lupin, and responsibility turns me on." And using the word "fancy" with Severus? Probably a bad idea all around.

With an inward groan, the lycanthrope slowed his steps as he actually reached the office door. Hadn't he been through all the ways of saying this already? But each new idea seemed more abysmal than the last. So then what was he _doing _now when he still had no clue as to what to say? Something had pushed him to it, almost -- maybe the weariness he felt at being constantly frustrated by his own inactivity on the matter. Seeing Severus nearly every day, as he hadn't for years following graduation from Hogwart's, might have been a factor as well. Or maybe he was simply tired of sleeping alone every night. Which might lead to the conclusion that he was just doing this now because he had been unbearably horny lately.

"Excuse me, Severus, but I need sex. And since you're the most likely candidate, I--"

Better to stop _that_ approach before it even fully formed in his mind.

Lupin stood before the door, brushing absently at invisible lint on his robes, straightening his shoulders, taking deep, calming breaths.

_"That's right, just stay calm. He can't do anything more than laugh in your face and slam the door shut. Or perform a rather nasty hex on you. Or slip some rare poisonous substance into your next goblet of pumpkin juice. Or--"_

Before he lost his nerve completely, he raised a hand to rap on the door.

No answer.

He tried again, louder, but still got no response. Perhaps he had cast a silencing charm on the door, but just in case...

"Severus? It's me, Lupin. May I come in?"

Nothing.

Frowning, he reached for the doorknob. "Severus...?" Surprisingly, the knob turned, and the door opened. The startled werewolf found himself looking right into Snape's office, complete with it's row upon row of jars containing his private store of potions ingredients, it's plain wooden desk, and the large cauldron which Lupin knew for a fact that Snape brewed the wolfsbane potion in, having actually witnessed it once. But of the man himself, there was no sign.

Lupin closed the door softly behind him, and turned to examine the room a little more closely. A small blaze was crackling in the fireplace, there were a few papers, a quill, and an open inkwell scattered on the desk, and two jars had been removed from their places on the shelves, leaving obvious gaps. These jars had been placed on a small table next to the cauldron. All of this suggested that Snape _had_ been present until recently. The potions master was one of the most meticulous persons that Lupin knew; he would not have left things out of place unless he had been called away quite suddenly, perhaps on emergency.

Musing on this, Lupin wandered over to inspect the contents of the two out of place jars. One was filled with a thick purplish liquid, and he could not be certain, but the darker shape floating in the midst of the solution almost looked like a liver. Although from the size of the jar, and the "liver" itself, it would have had to come from a very large animal. With a shudder, Lupin turned to look at the other jar, only to step back abruptly a few paces at the sight of what appeared to be thousands of small eyeballs floating in clear liquid. It wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't seem that they were all staring straight at him.

Lupin turned his back on the jars' gruesome contents and began to slowly pace the floor in front of the desk, the rhythmic motions somewhat comforting. So why _had_ Snape left like this? And why had he left the door unlocked? Lupin had fully expected the room to be locked, warded, possibly even booby-trapped to prevent intrusion. Because that was just the way Snape was, cautious and over-protective of himself and his privacy. Maybe it really had been an emergency, or maybe...

Maybe he had known Lupin was coming. Swallowing hard, he began to pace faster without really noticing. But how could he know? Unless he was practicing divination. Or he had run across Trelawney earlier...

_"Severus Snape, my dear boy! What I have read in your stars today...! I felt so compelled to warn you of your most dire situation. Early this evening, at approximately 5:19pm, your office shall be visited upon by a... you may not believe this, I know I had trouble myself... a_ gay werewolf_! And if you lock your door, it will surely burst in by evil force! You must heed my warning and flee your office before that time, or you will surely face a fate worse than death!"_

No. No, that was wrong on many counts. For one, Trelawney's predictions were not always that accurate even on her best days. For another, Snape had always thought divination was complete bollocks, and had even told Lupin as much during their time as students. There was just no way that she could know, and then tell him that... no. There was just no way.

Lupin continued his pacing while the eyeballs watched him from the table. He considered sitting on the floor behind the side of the desk, where they couldn't see him, but that was ridiculous. Snape would choose to return at that point, and what could Lupin say then?

_"I was afraid of the eyeballs. Hold me?"_

Definitely not.

For the first time, Lupin considered leaving and trying again some other day. It wasn't as though he even knew what to say, after all. And what if Snape decided not to even listen in the first place? For all he knew, he was still despised by the man.

Lupin had always believed that Snape kept lists of his enemies in his mind the way Filch kept lists of student wrongdoings in his expansive collection of file cabinets. Snape's mental lists would be carefully maintained, annotated and footnoted, with who did what to him, and when, and how best to pay back the slight. And he never forgot anything on those lists. In fact, Lupin's own name was probably there under the heading of "Werewolf", showing how Snape thought of him as something much less than human. And it probably read something like:

_Werewolf.  
Lupin, Remus J.  
Cowardly dunderhead.  
Capable of deceit, betrayal, possibly murder.  
Smiles entirely too much.  
**Not to be trusted under any circumstances**._

Lupin frowned again, conscious of the prickle between his shoulderblades whenever he turned his back on the blasted eyeballs, but choosing to ignore it. Would Snape ever give him a chance? Could he ever put aside his suspicion and resentment of a past that he had partly misunderstood, and listen objectively to Lupin's feelings?

_That_was what he was really there to find out, he decided. He had had enough of his status as a "cowardly dunderhead", and was standing in Snape's office now to try to change things. If only Snape would listen.

"Excuse me, Severus, but I _am_ a werewolf, as you know, and I _am_ gay. I also think there is a distinct possibility that I'm in love with you. If you would allow it, I believe a relationship between us could be mutually beneficial, and--"

No, no, _no_.

The door opened, and Lupin stopped mid-stride. "Severus! I... let myself in."

"I can see that." Snape's tone gave nothing away, but his eyes were watchful and suspicious. The potions master looked down his long nose at Lupin and arched one eyebrow sarcastically. "Well?" Snape managed to do _everything_ sarcastically, even things most people couldn't even imagine doing in that way.

The lycanthrope turned to face Snape, leaning against the desk in what he hoped to be a nonchalant manner. "Why... why was your door open? You went somewhere."

_Yes, that was really great. Point out the obvious. He'll be so impressed._

"The headmaster came along and told me there was something I simply must see. He did not allow me to lock the door, despite my protests, as he said it was most urgent. But I did not find his urgency at wanting to make me look at flowers blooming outside, when it is spring and such things always happen, to be very plausible." He cast another interesting look at Lupin, who flinched.

"No! I mean... I didn't have anything to do with that, Severus. Honestly." Which was true. Maybe it was Dumbledore who was practicing divination. Then again, the man seemed to know almost everything before it happened in most cases... Maybe he had known that Snape would not have let Lupin enter on this day without being suitably distracted first. In which case, Lupin owed him something.

Snape continued to direct that penetrating gaze over at him, and Lupin fought hard against wiping the palms of his hands against his robes, smiling nervously instead. He wondered if Snape was the kind of person who could "smell" fear. It almost seemed likely.

As a werewolf, Lupin had used to wish that his condition gave him, in essence, "super powers". Heightened sense of smell, sharper vision, keener hearing, fantastic strength. But as far as he could tell, the only thing it had done for him was cause his facial hair to grow at a much faster rate than a normal male's. And whether or not that was a "super power" was highly debatable.

Still, he wished there was some way he could how Snape was feeling toward him now, some power he could use to sense it so he could act accordingly. Since that wasn't likely to be forthcoming all of a sudden after all these years... There was just nothing else for it. No more excuses. No more "cowardly dunderhead".

"Severus, I... Well. Would you listen to me for a moment?"

The other man's impassive face gave nothing away. "I have been, wouldn't you say?"

Lupin stood up straighter, hoping. _This is it. Don't mess up_. It was perplexing how he could feel so nervous now, when talking to Snape at any other time was easy. Well, comparatively easy, considering it _was_ Snape.

"Would you like to have tea or something with me after supper tonight?"

That had never been one of the things he had _ever_ planned on saying. But still...

Snape shrugged, a noncommittal gesture that somehow made him seem a lot less intimidating. "I suppose it would not hurt."

Lupin's jaw wanted to drop in shock, but he smiled wider instead. Snape scowled. However, that was just normal, so the werewolf didn't take it personally.

"Excellent."

It _was_ excellent, because even if he hadn't come out with his feelings yet, he was one step closer. And that was a decent way to start.

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Comments? Thoughts? Mockery? Leave it in the review then. :P


	2. Stumbling

Notes: Hello again. Thanks for the feedback I've received so far on this one. I'm glad you're enjoying it.Hopefully this part will be as good as the first, although I really am not sure. :P This is part two of three, by the way. 

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**Part 2: Stumbling**

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Lupin had a rather difficult time with supper. Something was making him incredibly nervous. Maybe the reason he was having a terrible time simply holding his fork was because Snape kept staring at him calculatingly up the table; it was a miracle he didn't drop it. And was the headmaster looking from Lupin to Snape and back again deliberately or by mere coincidence?

It would be untruthful to say that Lupin wasn't worried about Snape's later visit. The stress was in fact almost too great, and so he bolted most of his food down and left as soon as could be considered polite. He did need the time to prepare the tea, after all. Or maybe just to think over what he would say so as not to sound utterly ridiculous.

_"Hello, Severus, how are you? Sit down. You might want to know the reason why I invited you here tonight. It's the same reason my eyes are drawn to you from the minute you walk into the room, following you as you stride to wherever it is you're going, tracing the straight lines of your figure and..."_

No.

_"Lovely evening, isn't it, Severus? Care for a stroll out under the stars? I think you'd look positively... er... enchanting out..."_

No.

_"Severus. Sleep with me?"_

NO.

The werewolf sighed heavily, turning around to pace the length of the room again in what had become an almost ritualistic habit.

_Like a caged wolf._

He had to smile at his own thought, then quickly reverted to frowning as he stopped to inspect the tea things he had set out. Plain china, unadorned, chipped in several places - he hoped it was suitable enough. Actually it was the only set he was in possession of, and he was afraid it might be just as shabby and worn as the rest of his belongings were. As he was himself, come to think of it. This gave him slight pause. He and Snape were not exactly young anymore, although they weren't exactly old either. But would Snape really ever consider taking such a poor, well-worn man... well, werewolf... as a lover? There seemed to be no way to know without asking, and even though the signs would point to a negative answer, he had to try anyway.

Supressing another sigh, he turned toward the door, becoming a bit impatient now in his anxiety. They had not agreed on the time, only that they would meet in Lupin's chambers; surely he would be coming...

"Oh. Se... Severus... you're here."

Snape had indeed arrived, and was standing in the open doorway with his arms folded, a look of what could almost be called bemusement on his thin face. But no, this was Snape, the man who wasn't amused by anything. Lupin decided that he must have read that look wrong. Probably a result of the surprise he felt that he had bothered to come.

_Maybe I've a chance after all..._

"Lupin. Standing about with your chamber door wide open, not paying attention to what might be lurking outside with easy access. And you are the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor? I do pity the poor children under your tutelage if you manage to ignore the simplest of precautions this way."

_Maybe not._

"Ah..." Lupin began shakily, still rather offguard at Snape's sudden appearance and therefore unable to come up with a decent reply. "Well... this_is _Hogwart's, Severus. We're safe enough here, aren't we?"

"One can never be too safe," the dark-haired man sniffed in return. He paused for a moment, only staring at Lupin. "...Well?"

"Well?"

"Are you going to invite me inside, or must I stand here in the blasted doorway until you've finished gawping at me?" He sounded irritable, and Lupin cursed himself inwardly for letting his frayed nerves take control of his common sense.

_You've got to stay alert or he's going to lose interest and leave._

"Yes, of course, Severus. Come in, please. I'm sorry, I was rather lost in thought when you arrived." Snape grunted as if to say it must not take much for Lupin to get lost in his own head, but did enter and close the door behind him. Lupin thought of his chambers as small but homey, although Snape's tastes would surely give him a different impression - probably "cramped" and "too cheerful". The tiny area Lupin optimistically called his "sitting room" had a fire sparking in the grate and several small candles ranged on whatever flat surfaces were available for the purpose. These were the only lights in the room, making the setting somewhat dim and intimate, but if Snape was suspicous of this, he gave no sign as he settled onto Lupin's worn two-seat sofa. Lupin himself sat in the armchair across from him; heavens only knew what Snape would do if he sat right next to him like he wanted.

"Ah, I almost forgot the tea. What do you-"

"Actually I would prefer coffee. You wouldn't happen to have any, I suppose."

"Oh... ah, no, but I do know a decent spell to transfigure it from tea," Lupin offered sheepishly. The other man only shrugged, so Lupin performed the spell quickly, then handed the steaming cup over to Snape as he re-pocketed his wand. "Careful, it's pretty hot."

The potions master only looked at it disdainfully. "It's plain, isn't it."

"Er... yes, isn't that how you want it?"

"No. It doesn't seem likely that someone like you has never heard of putting sugar in coffee."

"Su... gar?" Lupin said slowly, baffled.

"Solid crystalline disaccharide? Sucrose? I imagined someone like you would have it stockpiled."

"Er... I know what sugar is, and I have some, it's just... I never would have equated you with someone who puts sugar in their coffee," Lupin said, unable to keep from grinning as he went to fetch it. "And how many do you want?"

"Three should do." The grin widened as he complied, glad that his back was to Snape as he did so. Severus Snape and sugary coffee... no, no one would have seen _that _coming. Lupin handed the cup over and returned to his own seat, watching the other man as he sipped experimentally.

"It's alright?"

"It's sufficient."

"Good." That had been about as good as a compliment, coming from who it had.

"Why are you smiling so absurdly at me?"

_You forgot to turn off your stupid grin, you idiot._

But Lupin felt strangely more relaxed than before, and so he just sat back and continued it. "Because you're a surprising person, Severus."

"...For liking _sugar _in my _coffee_?"

"No, no. What I mean is... well, I guess I could say there's probably a lot about you that other people don't know, so they just have to assume based on your personality. Like how I just assumed you would take your coffee plain because... well..."

"Because my personality is black and bitter," Snape supplied in a bland tone, taking another sip.

"I wouldn't... er... say that..."

"No, because you lack the courage say it. You would think it, however."

Lupin shook his head slightly, aware of the point that Snape was making but unable to reply for the moment. Too many times he had kept his thoughts to himself on too many important occasions... He began drinking his cooling tea, wishing he could just come out and say what he so longed to.

"So."

Snape spoke quite suddenly and loudly, startling the lycanthrope. The tea in his cup sloshed dangerously, but didn't spill. "So...?" he repeated once he had recovered.

"What did you ask me here for? Because I know it wasn't just for you to discover my beverage preferences."

"Heh. Right. Well... it's difficult to say..." Which was the truth. Saying "I like you in the way that certain men like other men" to Severus Snape was surely high on the world's list of Hard to Say Phrases. "I-"

"Have you been feeling poorly? Perhaps in need of some kind of potion? I noticed you at supper, eating your food too quickly... or maybe I should say _wolfing _your food too quickly." Lupin stared at Snape smirking across from him. To say that Snape making a werewolf joke was a bit odd would be an understatement.

"No, it's not... that..."

"It is seventeen days before the next full moon, so I assume you aren't in search of wolfsbane," Snape continued without missing a beat. "Although I had been gathering the ingredients to start another cauldron for next time when Albus interrupted me this afternoon."

"I see... Wait." A sudden thought had occurred to Lupin, too horrible to fully imagine. "Severus... please tell me those eyeballs aren't an ingredient of wolfsbane. _Please_."

Snape looked smug now, and he lifted one thin finger to tap his chin in mock thoughtfulness. "You're seen me prepare it before, haven't you?"

"Yes, but... you had a lot of things already ground up in little vials, and... ugh..." Lupin was starting to feel distinctly ill.

"If you must know, they are from a rare Peruvian toad. The eyeballs retain a sense of vision even after they are plucked from the sockets - actually I should say it onlyseems they retain a sense of vision. They only _sense _movement, in truth. Their uses in potion-making are very miniscule. I mostly keep them around to intimidate the unduly curious who somehow manage to find their way into my private areas."

_"Funny you should put it that way. I'm unduly curious, and I'd _love _to find my way into your private areas."_

"Why is your face turning red?"

"Oh... bit hot. Too much tea." The blushing werewolf set his half-empty cup aside and took several deep breaths.

"So what is it then? I must admit I'm out of ideas."

_"Severus, it turns out I'm even more infatuated with you than I previously thought. You're not as hardened and angry as I would have assumed you'd be, and you've even shown me you have a sense of humour. I love you, Severus, more than ever, and I just want you to..."_

No, not that one.

"Severus, what do you think of me?"

There. That wasn't bad. _Too _bad.

Snape's eyebrows drew together and he leaned forward slightly. "As a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor? Hopelessly inept."

"Er... oh. No, I really meant... as a person."

"As a person," the potions master repeated, sitting back again. He stopped looking straight at Lupin and instead began inspecting his teacup. "Well, you're a coward."

"...Oh."

"Wait. I'd have to say you're a dunderhead too. I mean, really. May as well be honest."

"Er... right..." Lupin closed his eyes tightly, feeling his doom rushing ever nearer.

"You look ill. What are you going to do?"

_"What I _want _to do is throw you down on that couch and bugger you silly."_

Right. Say that and Snape wouldn't find Avada Kadavra to be quite good enough. He could picture the scene when they came to look for him hours later: Snape still sitting and drinking cold sugary coffee in the middle of the room while bits of Remus Lupin decorated the walls and ceiling. And every now and then he'd laugh, high-pitched and maniacal...

"You can answer any time."

Lupin opened his eyes and looked resolutely at the other man, who had leaned forward so far now that he appeared in danger of falling off the couch. "Severus, I'm interested in you."

Black eyes narrowed slowly. "Interested. What do you mean by that."

"What I mean is I like you. I want to get to know you better. I always have. Circumstances just haven't been ideal. I want you to give me a chance."

"Even after what I just said about you?"

"I'm not sure you really meant that, but yes."

"And you're talking about an intimate relationship, aren't you."

"I am. We can start as friends, but I know that won't be enough for long. Severus, I've... wanted you for a long time. I know I can't offer much, but all I'm asking..." Lupin's words trailed away as Snape got to his feet. He walked across to the table and set his cup down on it carefully before turning to look at Lupin. And that look made him want to close his eyes again.

"Well. It's all very wonderful for you to admit these long-denied feelings for me. But some of us are really unsure about what he want in regards to sexuality." He turned to leave, but stopped in the doorway without looking back. "Good evening, Lupin. Thank you for the coffee." Then he was gone, the door snapping shut behind him.

_What did he mean by... Does he really not know his own preferences?_

It was hard for him to understand how Snape could be uncertain over which gender he would prefer for a lover. Lupin felt beyond foolish for never having considered the fact that Snape might not be gay. Unless what he had really meant was that he didn't know if he could commit to a relationship...

Lupin slumped back in the armchair, deep in thought, which was how he remained until the knock at his door not ten minutes later.


	3. First Time for Everything

Notes: Yay, it's done! I'm happy. I hope you go away pleased as well. 

And to the person who reviewed today with the word "update":

HERE. :P

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**One Step Closer**

**Part 3: First Time for Everything**

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The door opened before Lupin could even rise from his chair.

"No, no, just stay there, my boy. I think we have much to discuss, and we might as well get started right away." Dumbledore sat on the couch that Snape had just vacated, giving the bewildered lycanthrope a warm smile.

"Oh, I... Albus, how did you..."

"How did I know what has happened between you and Severus? Well, he did pass me by only minutes ago... walked right past me without even a hello, muttering something or other, but you know how he is when something's on his mind. Is that tea you have there? May I help myself?"

Lupin nodded, dazed, grateful to be able to watch the headmaster pouring tea rather than having to think more about what had just occurred. But on the other hand, the question of exactly how Dumbledore had known to come to Lupin's chambers was almost equally worrying. Lupin waited until his unexpected guest had seated himself again before speaking.

"Albus, how do you know so much about this? Did you really know to distract Severus today in order for me to have a better chance of getting him to listen to me? How could you possibly-"

"Remus, there is never much that escapes my attention. I make it my business to know what is going on with my students... and with my professors. I _do _notice when one has been looking at the other with barely hidden longing, while realizing that the other could benefit personally from such a relationship. You understand this, don't you?"

"I suppose so... but that doesn't explain how-"

"Now, now. Can't an old man keep a few secrets? I wouldn't withhold my wisdom from the less experienced normally, but in this case I really must hold my peace." The twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes and the amusement in his voice gave absolutely nothing away. Lupin sighed in slight frustration, while attempting to shift around more comfortably in his chair.

"Alright. So, you must have come here to talk to me about Severus..." He trailed off, watching Dumbledore nod and grow more serious as he stared into his teacup, one wizened finger tracing gently along the rim.

"You must understand, Remus, that Severus is not a man who is in touch with his emotions. Both his physical and his mental health suffer from this, from what I have noticed. You may not think that he even needs any sort of love or affection in his life, and he would indeed be the first person to say he does not." The older wizard paused, then looked directly at Lupin, his eyes kind but grave. "Despite that... _everyone _needs these things. Even if only in very small amounts. And I feel that Severus would benefit from having someone like you providing him with a way to fulfill those basic needs."

"I see." Lupin fought back the urge to sigh again, this time in sadness, and instead folded his hands together, squeezing his fingers tight. "But are you certain it should be me? He seemed very confused about... about whether he desired other men. I've never seen him like that before. Severus is always so sure of himself... but not about this. I think it frightens him."

Dumbledore gave a slight nod, taking another sip of his tea. "It does frighten him, having a facet of himself that he doesn't quite understand. I have talked to him about it on occasion, preparing him as much as possible for when you would finally see fit to step forward and make your admiration of him known." Lupin blushed at these words, but was grateful for what the headmaster had done all the same.

"As for the issue of his sexuality... well, even if he won't admit it, I think you have nothing to worry about. After all, it might be fairly obvious that he looks at you with much more than what appears to be a passing interest."

Lupin realized his mouth was hanging open, and promptly shut it. Dumbledore chuckled. "Oh yes, in between bouts of glaring, when he can be quite sure you are not watching, I'm afraid I've caught him ogling you in a manner that leaves no doubt in my mind that he is _rather _interested in you. I'm not sure even _he _realizes he does it. But anything more than that you might wish to know, you'll simply have to ask for yourself. From him."

Dumbledore had gotten up and was walking toward the door; Lupin just stared dumbly for several moments before jumping up after him.

"Wait! Are you leaving already? Don't you have any advice, or-"

"I suggest," the older man interrupted, the twinkle and smile returning, "that you go to him now and have another little chat. There are past issues the two of you will need to work out alone, so there is really nothing else I can tell you."

"But how will I find him? He could be anywhere right now!"

"Ah, yes. I imagine he _would _be off brooding somewhere at this point." The headmaster turned back toward Lupin, considering. "It's Tuesday, isn't it?" He thought for awhile. "He should be atop the astronomy tower, in that case. I wish you luck. Oh, and do try to remember... there is a first time for everything."

And with another mirthful smile and wave, he simply left, leaving Lupin standing there gaping at empty space, as he had seemed to spend a lot of time doing that day already.

_Sometimes, that old man comes close to being downright _scary.

-

The days had grown quite warm, but the nights were still chilly this early in spring, as Lupin noticed while crossing the circular tower. Snape was there as Dumbledore had said, standing a few feet away from the ledge and looking up at the star-sprinkled night sky, arms crossed, shoulders hunched. Typical defensive Snape posture, or at least it had been when he was younger. He was either terribly lost in thought, or just cold.

Not receiving any sign that his approach had been noticed, Lupin hesitantly reached out to tap him on the shoulder.

"Severus? You alright?"

He showed no surprise, but he didn't move either. "Lupin. Hard to believe you came to find me. Thought you were a bit too weak-willed for that."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"When we were in school together. The way my friends treated you, and I never stood up for what I thought was right. Sometimes you _did _act like a prat first... but more often they were the ones who started it for no reason. And I wish I hadn't been so afraid to lose them that I kept my mouth shut when it was really important. I've worked long and hard to improve myself."

"And this is supposed to make me like you?"

"No!" Lupin exclaimed, spreading his hands in front of him. "Of course not. Maybe it would help you to forgive me though. After all, we were just children then." When no response was forthcoming, the werewolf exhaled loudly. "Could you turn around and look at me when I'm apologizing to you, at the very least?"

Snape turned slowly; there wasn't much light to see by, but Lupin could see he wasn't angry. Just wary and on guard. The light breeze ruffled through his shoulder-length black hair, and Lupin found he couldn't force his eyes away from the sight for anything.

_"Let me touch you."_

No, not yet.

"You remember what happened at the willow, don't you? Of course you do. You might have killed me." Even Snape's tone was carefully guarded. Lupin shook his head.

"I remember. And I told you before, I had nothing to do with that. At the time, it was Sirius' idea of a good joke. We all did stupid things when we were young. And I really-"

"I know you had nothing to do with it."

"You... _what_?" Lupin's eyes widened incredulously, and he advanced a step toward Snape, who backed a step away. "I thought you spent all those years blaming me equally, and-"

"No." His tone was quiet, and Lupin leaned in closer to hear better. This time, the other man didn't move. "But I said I did, because it was convenient."

"Convenient?"

"Must you repeat me? You heard what I said," the potions master snapped irritably. When Lupin only raised his eyebrows, Snape closed his eyes, composing himself to try again. Knowing how hard this was for him, Lupin waited in patience. "I... yes, it was convenient. Convenient because it was the only way I... no, I shouldn't be saying this."

He started to turn away, but Lupin stepped up quickly, placing a steady hand on Snape's arm to stay him. "No... tell me. Neither of us is going to run away anymore, alright?" Snape's head was bent down far enough it was almost on a level with Lupin's. Realizing how close they were sent a sudden jolt of excitement squirming up through his insides.

_"I want to kiss you."_

No, it wasn't the time...

"It was easier to hate you by believing you were involved. Much easier than wanting you, but knowing there was never a chance for us." Snape looked embarrassed and somehow out of place admitting something so personal, and Lupin struggled with the urge to just wrap his arms around him and pull him close. That would not be what he wanted at this point. But he couldn't resist a slow, pleased smile. Snape had wanted him as well. That made all the difference in the world.

"We really were stupid as kids..."

"Speak for yourself," Snape snorted in return. Lupin stared at him, puzzled. Something about his mouth looked odd...

Snape had a wide variety of expression that were not happy, but still conveyed a sense of somewhat sadistic pleasure. There was the satisfied smirk he used when things were going exactly as he wanted them to, the malicious smirk he used when tormenting and taking points from Gryffindor, the condescending smirk he used when insinuating that you were such a useless dolt that it was a miracle, really, that you managed to remember which end of your own wand you held in your hand and which you pointed away from you. But this was different. Lupin had never seen this one before.

It took him awhile to realize that Snape was _smiling_. An honest, non-malignant smile.

"Does this... does this mean yes?" Lupin stuttered, unable to keep from grinning what felt like ear-to-ear. Snape scowled so fast it was hard to think he had just been doing anything but.

"Yes what."

"Er... I mean... you'll give it a chance?"

Snape's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Exactly what _is _in this for you?"

_"Oh, I have the feeling I'll want to be there when your no doubt horribly repressed libido is finally given free rein."_

Good god, _no_.

"It's mutual. We both get a little comfort where we need it. Equal. You like equal, right?"

"Yes..."

"Yes?"

"Yes _what_?"

"Yes you'll do it?"

"Yes I'll do _what_?"

"Yes we can... uh... date?"

"I'll do it if only to get you to shut your damned annoying mouth!" Snape growled, starting to back away again. Lupin followed, slowly, still smiling.

"So what was all that back there, about not knowing what you wanted?"

"I _didn't _know. And I didn't know what _you _really wanted either." Snape's legs hit the tower ledge and he had to stop, but Lupin continued to advance despite the warning look the other man was giving him.

"Well, you're an impressive Legilimens, from what I understand. Why didn't you find out for yourself what I really wanted?

Snape scowled even deeper, if that was at all possible, his eyes darting from side to side as though looking for escape. "I didn't want to know, I thought it might be joke in any case, _why the bloody hell don't you just stay put_?"

"Sorry," Lupin grinned, mere inches away from him now. He decided to forgo mentioning the fact that he was glad Snape hadn't used Legilimency, as some of his most recent thoughts had involved the length of Snape's legs and how they might look clad in women's stockings.

"You know what I am, don't you?" His voice was low again, and Lupin considered him, now solemn.

"I do. And you know what I am?"

"I'd be an idiot not to know what you are by now."

"True. As long as we both know where we stand..."

"I think we do."

There was a long silence as they just stood close to each other, close enough to feel the other's warmth, but still not touching.

"What do you want."

It was a demand, not a question, and Lupin only thought about his answer for a split second.

_"You in my bed."_

"You in my bed."

_Shit._

But Snape only rolled his eyes. "Let's start with something simpler, shall we?"

Lupin felt his pulse pounding harder as he finally just reached out and pulled Snape close to him, thrilled with how it felt to have him try to return the embrace, albeit awkwardly. "I've dreamed of this for so long..."

"You don't dream very high, apparently."

Lupin sighed but didn't mind the sarcasm terribly; he already knew exactly what he was getting himself into with this relationship.

"Mmm." Snape finally stirred in the embrace after a time, and the werewolf pulled back to look at him questioningly. "What do you suppose Black would think of this?"

Momentarily startled by the change in topic, Lupin's mind flew to what he _knew _Black would have said:

_"Moony, what the hell? That's SNIVELLUS. That nose, that hair, those teeth! Moony! Where's your taste gone off to? Has it left you? Or do you just need glasses? MOONY! NO!"_

But Black was in Azkaban... Lupin pushed away that troubling thought and returned his attention to Snape. "Why do you ask?"

"I always assumed... you and he..."

"Me and him?"

"You and Black!"

"Sirius and me? What?"

"YOU TWO!"

"...What?"

"God damn it, Lupin, I thought you used to be buggering him! All right?"

"Er..." Lupin patted Snape's back in a calming gesture. "Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but Sirius was... well, I imagine he still is... straight."

"Straight," Snape muttered darkly. "Could have fooled me."

Lupin laughed gently. "Contrary to popular belief, not all good-looking males are gay, Severus."

"I wonder what the popular belief has to say about ugly males," Snape continued, still fuming. Slowly, Lupin reached up with both hands and cupped the taller man's face between them, his movements very deliberate as he gently caressed the pale skin beneath his fingers.

_It's like trying not to scare away a wild animal._

Surpressing another chuckle at that thought, he guided Snape's face closer to his own. "I'm going to kiss you, Severus. Stop me if you must, but I know I won't be able to stop unless you shove me away in the next two seconds."

"I... don't think... that..."

"Too late," Lupin breathed against the other man's lips, before closing the slight distance between them.

It was a surprisingly sweet kiss, long but not passionate; rather a tentative exploration of each other's mouth. Lupin couldn't help slipping his tongue inside delicately, surprised at how little resistance he met, but more surprised at the way this coaxed a soft moan from Snape before he pulled away. He watched Snape's flushed and rather embarrassed face for a moment, then smiled as usual.

"I think you might need to sit down."

"I think you may be right."

"You really that unsettled, kissing your arch-enemy and all?"

"Arch-enemy? I don't think so. And kissing a grinning fool of a werewolf is nothing to be unnerved about in the face of... say... a meeting with the dark lord." Snape snorted in amusement, finding his own statement rather funny; Lupin laughed as well, linking an arm through Snape's and escorting him toward the stairs.

"Does that mean I'm off the list?"

"List? What the hell are you on about now?"

"Nothing, nothing. So, my place or yours?"

_Never thought I'd be saying those words to Severus Snape_.

But now he knew, as the days' events had shown him, that there really was a first time for everything.

THE END

-

Thank you, thank you, to all my kind reviewers, and people who've read this story but not reviewed, and liked it anyway, and etc. etc. I hope I can continue to write fun crap in the future. Bwahaha. XD


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